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She manages a 200-person org but can't stop rewriting her assistant's emails, and she knows how ridiculous that sounds

You see the irony: managing teams, running organizations, making decisions that affect hundreds of people. And yet you cannot stop rewriting your assistant's emails. You check behind the housekeeper. You redo the school form because it's faster than explaining. It's not easier. It's just yours.

You already know you should delegate more. You've read the books, nodded along at the leadership off-sites, probably given the advice yourself to someone junior with total conviction while simultaneously rewriting a deck your VP sent you because the fonts were wrong.

The problem was never information. It's that delegation, for women who built their careers on being the most competent person in every room, feels like volunteering for irrelevance. You're not holding onto things because you think nobody else can do them, you're holding on because your hands on everything is the entire basis of the identity that got you here.

So let's skip the part where I convince you that delegation is important, because you already know. Let's talk about why you still aren't doing it, what it actually costs you, why the standard advice misses the point entirely.

The real reason, which has nothing to do with trust

Every delegation conversation eventually lands on trust. Do you trust your team? Do you trust the process? Trust, as if the issue is that you hired badly or lack faith in human competence.

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